boredom's in

a few anecdotes from guatemala, (Spring Break '97 part V) with accompanying photos


gauchitos is an argentine franchise that serves very small hamburgers with a fried egg or not, and a magical sauce whose recipe is only revealed after 20 years of loyalty to the comapany, at roadside stands throughout the country.



pollo campero. you need it. i heard a delta pilot saying that they call the atlanta-san salvador flight the chicken flight on account of the smell of pollo campero that every other passenger brings aboard. we got a bucket of campero and a case of pilsener to prepare ourselves for smuggling an undocumented immigrant into guatemala. just before crossing the border we had to take advantage of a promotional offer of free pilsener t-shirt with the purchase of a case


on the way to zacapa, we stopped at a roadside place for a pound each of fresh chicharrones and carnitas, eagerly eaten by the chinitas


we took the 5am bus from zacapa to guate and grabbed a cab to tere's house. she drove us to antigua and took stylistic photographs in all the places where there are slightly more gomelas than europeans. this is the hookah bar. tradition calls for glasses of white wine, but we found out the next day that a half bottle of extra light is a suitable substitute



these dogs live on top of a volcano and eat lava for nutrition. johnny and i took a tour to pacaya. our tour group of mostly europeans and israelis, feeling the camaraderie brought by accomplishment shared stories at least loosely related to sleeping with a portuguese street magician in his van for a while


we took the four wheelers into monterrico and bought ten pounds of some fish recently caught in the mangrove swamp-its razor sharp teeth will cut the bag- called sierra and one live duck, all for about twenty dollars. nacho's frat boys left early so we had to eat all of these animals ourselves.



we had to help the woman catch the duck. she pinioned its wings, locking them at the elbows, and one of the fishermen tied its feet together and fashioned a handle with which to hold him. on the ride back he shit on himself for fear. maria carmen set a pot of water to boil and held him down while duylinh plucked the feathers around his neck and cut his throat. i then cut it deeper because it didn't bleed fast enough. once we had enough blood for the porridge maria carmen broke his neck and killed him.


adolfo gutted the duck and cut him into pieces. we put half into the porridge thickened by blood and barbecued the rest the next day. tata's grandfather said that the concept of property rights is not uniquely european. he bought a piece of land from some mayans. before they agreed to the sale, he and his family had to meet the community members and stay on the land for a three month probationary period. he said he has never known more honest and friendly neighbors. at the end of the three months, they carried a man who appeared to have over 100 years out on a chair and convened a council of elders to decide on the purchase. when the eldest gave the word it was a deal. the owner of prensa libre, who offered double the price of don asturias, was rejected.


on the way to the airport this morning we stopped at a mirador giving towards the pacific ocean and ate oysers and black conch cocktails with pilsener. the owner's daughter apologized for the delay, as she didn't have much experience in cracking the shells. yesterday duylinh and i walked to la curvina with three dollars and tried to convince shop keepers to accept them as payment for bread and eggs. two shopkeepers and three or so random loafers explained to us that they would like to help, but that the dollar is currently devalued and it is not wise to hold dollars if one can have quetzales. i offered one shopkeeper an exchange rate equal to half of the market rate. he declined and told me to walk to the bank in monterrico two miles away to exchange my three dollars. one man sitting on the corner heard me mention that i was staying with don asturias' nephew, and offered me quetzales at nearly the market rate. i took the four steps back to the shop keeper and said ok let's have the huevitos and bolsa de panes.