expiate

the tomatoes have consumed my nights. perhaps i have decided that my nights are to be consumed in insomniac idleness and this has been projected on to the tomatoes. na will go to bed earlier than usual to ease the tomatoes along, making sure they prevent me from coming to bed.

i was walking around the neighborhood and went to buy a lighter. the girl at the gas station said i'd have to show id for her to sell me one, then refused my expired driver's license. i'm imagining that there is no such law but that the police and the gas stations have some kind of understanding with eachother. the gas stations help them to bear down on this poor neighborhood and they protect them from teenagers and homeless men, sitting in the parking lot, occasionally writing citations for failure to show proof of liability on the part of customers who don't look like they can afford it.

my new theory is that personal freedom is damaged by the ubiquity of the automobile in the US. you must have a car to lead a dignified life. you have a license to drive that doubles as an identity card. you need a driver's license to be able to identify yourself. roads mark out the places where you can go, and it is inconvenient to move even a short distance if not by road in a car. licenses are relatively easy to get because everyone needs one, so the drivers are dangerous. alcohol is restricted in general so that the drivers don't become worse. you spend a lot of time on the road and the police patrol the roads in the interest of safety. if they find a pretext under which to pull you over, they'll see if you have any warrants or are breaking any other laws. every day can bring a chance meeting with the police.