sex and the city

i am normally not a movie critic, but i just have to tell you about SEX AND THE CITY. i am going to write a true, unbiased review of the movie.

WARNING: SPOILER! i cannot make my nuanced critique without leaking a bit of the plot.

1. i think carrie bradshaw's face is large and square and i would not like to have sex with her.
2. every person spoke every word without meditation. the most thoughtful character is dante. he has one line: "would you like to join me? i am dante, come anytime."
3. there was no need for all of the yelling. the normal reason for movie actors getting away with yelling is that they're always about to get murdered. the only man who didn't get yelled at, the bald guy, had little time on camera.
4. i was not aroused by the sex scenes, because there was no foreplay.
5. carrie bradshaw can eat cup o' noodle. if i owned an expensive restaurant i would make it membership based, so that people could not eat there if they were abusive to their palates.
6. there was a preview about richard gere in a beach house, and a lonely woman enthralled by his gravelly voice. his gravelly voice makes the woman say "vous aviez l'air d'être seul" and then he squeezes her ass while they kiss.
7. miranda was angry or crying or having sex in every scene.
8. when people see a flash of light they become excited and start to laugh, but then they are confused and they become angry and when the caretaker breaks up the fight they start to drool and masturbate.
9. excellent camera work. they had to cut from scene to scene very quickly, and one time there was not enough of a pause between the narration and the climax of the scene, which was conveyed by the appearance of steve.
10. carrie ends up married. miranda ends up re-married. charlotte bears a child. samantha turns 50.

can't miss!