et alget.

"i don't care who's been sleeping on it. hobos or whatever...but it has to be clean."

there are differing opinions on used mattresses. a woman came to take away my free mattress. when she started to inspect it, i grinned and slapped my hands together and rubbed them; peremptorily, "well let's load it up!" some people said, and said more stridently as we got deeper into the fridge, that used mattresses are biological hazards, that they cannot even be legally thrown into dumpsters. others, slouched against the particle board desk that i dumped illegally, said "well you put a sheet over it! a sheet! i slept with you and the first time you didn't even have sheets! you had salt in your bed and it was itchy!"

HOUSTON, TX

my official review of Batman: The Movie.

i will bullet-point it.

• i don't know what force compelled all these people to want to see the same movie.
• joker's first and last acts are psychological experiments of sorts.  he bets that equally criminals and citizens can be corrupted.  first he corrupts by greed, then he fails to corrupt by fear.  Benjamin Franklin said: "An empty sack does not easily stand up."
• the story of the burmese jewel thief was partially plagiarized from Candide
• batman does not use weapons, and he saves anyone who is falling by jumping off of the building after them, even if he caused that person to fall in the first place.  this practice is partially plagiarized from the Korean serial drama Love to Kill.  Bi Rain, Steven Colbert's nemesis, finds a besotted girl standing on the bridge, poised to jump.  he is sucking a lollipop and wearing a cigarette-burned t-shirt.  he tells her that he can see her underwear as the wind flaps her dress, and would like to see more so she should go ahead and take the dress off.  she asks why he loves a girl that is uglier than herself, then says she will jump unless he says that he loves her.  she then downgrades her ultimatum, saying that his silence will be a signal that she should go on living, waiting for him to realize that he loves her.  to this he tells her to jump.  she jumps, he eats the last of lollipop, throws it out, then dives after her, saving her from drowning.
• does anyone care about property damage?
• joker tells two-face that chaos is fair.  two-face interprets this to mean that he should flip a coin to decide whether to fire his gun.  Nassim Nicholas Taleb would say that two-face has reasoned by The Ludic Fallacy, getting the whole point wrong.  if joker didn't point this out, maybe it was only because he merely wanted to show that the DA was corruptible.
• batman ignores due process by kidnapping the poor honky who would die at the stake, on a pile of inflammable tender.  cicero was proscribed for having executed catiline conspirators in the absence of due process.  is this the consequence that batman is inviting?
• she was not even hot!